Deliverance: A Poem for My Late Mom
This poem is written at a time of recent loss and longing, a tribute to my mother, whose absence has left an indelible mark on my heart. I miss her dearly and am grappling with the wish that we could have offered her a life richer and fuller than the one she had.
This poem is a reflection on deliverance. An ambiguous breakthrough that my mom sought out and dreamed of having all her life, but it remained just beyond our reach. I want to remember this pursuit, acknowledge her struggles, and our shared dreams of a better life. It’s a meditation on love, loss, and the elusive quest for peace for her and myself after her departure.
Deliverance
“Is it coming?” my mother’s voice would crackle,
Across the static of our phone-line thread.
“What seeks you, Mom?” I’d echo back,
“Deliverance,” she whispers, a prayer.
“It’s on its way, my heart,” I’d try to soothe,
Her sigh a heavy stone.
“Why so late?” she’d groan,
In a grieving tone.
“Be still, it’s close, my love,”
I’d whisper, half-believed.
The deliverance she yearned for,
An enigma, never conceived.
A savior cloaked in shadows,
Be it a deity, a man,
or that lottery ticket, never designed
to arrive. Hope deferred, life misconstrued.
I recall a mother, vibrant once,
A spirit fierce and wild.
She danced with life’s raw elements,
Nature’s unrestrained child.
Yet, she stumbled into twilight’s grasp,
A realm of echoes and might-have-beens,
Where her soul, in silent circles, spun,
Diminishing within unseen scenes.
Chained by despair, by the tyranny of the past,
surrendered to the storm of memory, of pain,
fearing the solitude of the vast,
she beckoned us to join her refrain.
Years cascaded like autumn leaves,
Her desires and our discoveries clashed,
Stuck in limbo, neither here nor there,
our phone calls filled with silences, vast, unspoken,
Too much to say, yet nothing to share.
“Mom, was it escape you sought?”
In a realm beyond our ken,
A secret haven, a hidden port —
Did you find your deliverance then?
